(a conversation between my beautiful, amazing, gentle sister….and my favorite little girl on the planet, my niece Payton)
“ Mama?” she asked and looked up.
“Is it true that a girl can marry a girl?”
(pause, both looking at another, my sister kneels down)
“Pay. A girl can marry a girl. A girl can marry a boy. A boy can marry a boy.”
“oh.” (stops thoughtfully) “well, how do you choose?”
“you choose based on who loves you, who is kind to you. you choose that person because you are the same way back to them. Because they are your favorite person in the world. That’s how you choose.”
“oh. Okay. That sounds good. I’m going to go sing karaoke now.”
I’ve admittedly been a little stuck on what to write since coming back from Kenya. But this conversation that my beautiful sister replayed for me when I saw her this weekend in California was too wonderful to not share.
In this season of thanks and gratitude, I am thankful that my sister and I did not inherit certain belief systems we were raised to believe, and I am thankful for the ones we did inherit. Including the belief of never giving up. I am thankful and grateful that while I am still living out of 2 suitcases that rest on the floor. That they are resting in the home of my best friend, and that my dog is happy here, and we are warm and safe. I am thankful and grateful for all the open arms, open dinner tables, open conversations, the open, open hours I have spent on my yoga mat, and the open doors of course, with the invitation to: come.in.please.
I am so thankful for the past week at the ocean in California. Time spent with the most amazing people on the planet. That for many days in a row I got to see the sunset on the ocean. That indescribable way the movement of the ocean grounds me into earth. That these views are possible, because of the beautiful beings that love me, asked me to come, showed me seeing again. I think that I am…seeing again.
I cannot describe the space that I feel where my time in Kenya dwells. It feels both empty and full at the same time. It feels both good and bad to remember. But this space I’m sure of it…if I just keep seeing, will fill, is filling.
My openness can only be limited by my choosing. So I choose then, BIG. As big as the ocean. I choose. It’s amazing what a sunset can do…
I leave you all with a beautiful TED talk, though I am not a mother yet, one day I know I will be an amazing one, because I have chosen that. The sense of family as I am in transition is very present for me right now. I love seeing my sister in her role as ‘Mom’ I’m not sure there is a more beautiful role for a woman to ever be.
” I want her to know that this world is made out of sugar. It can crumble so easily, but don’t be afraid to stick your tongue out and taste it”