My first kiss was in 7th grade, I was ‘going out’ with the captain of the soccer team, Kevin Yahn. He asked me out in a note, that I found tucked into the vents of my locker, it was 8th period, it was May, and I was late to softball.
I clutched the note in my sweaty palms and avoided making eye contact with absolutely every body as I rushed down outside to meet my team. Later that night I dialed the first 6 numbers of Kevin’s number about 78 times, on the 79th time I finally hit that 7th digit praying his mother would not answer.
He answered, and I blurted out YES, and the next day we began our courtship of ‘going out’ which consisted of holding hands, sitting next to each other in lunch, and making sure all our 7th grade friends knew we were an item.
2-weeks later was the big 7th grade trip to the Herkimer Diamond mine, and off we went on the bus. I heard a very serious rumor on the 2-hour drive home that Kevin was going to break up with me because we hadn’t made out yet.
I immediately panicked and went into hussy mode convincing myself that I didn’t want to get dumped I better find my chapstick, stat. All my girlfriends agreed, and offered me their various types of lip smackers as apparently the black label chapstick that I found on my dad’s dresser just wasn’t going to cut it (I was always a little behind the curve) I chose the cherry cola flavor and nervously slathered my lips all through 8th period.
I watched as Kevin strolled down the hall in his adidas samba classics, and his jansport backpack. ‘this is it, this is it, this is it’ I coached myself. And in all the stealth and romance of a 7th grader he walks right up to me, and I close my eyes, and I’m all ‘this is IT!’ and then I scrunch my eyes up even tighter and pursed my cherry cola lips like Winnie from the Wonder Years and waited and waited, and peeked out of one eye, and waited some more……and then.
He did it. He leaned in. And I could feel his breath. And his hand on my side. And what felt like 8000 years. And then finally! I feel lips on my lips, he kisses me.
He plopped his gross little toungue in my mouth and just leaves it there. So picture, if you will, 2 14-year old KIDS, in the romantic setting of ‘by the lockers’ with a whole crap load of people watching, and he just puts his tounge in my mouth and LEAVES IT THERE. No movement, nothing. And I have not a clue of what to do next, it’s very hard to breathe like this. So I waited. And about 7 excruating seconds later, he took his tounge back, and it was over.
He’s grinning like a total idiot, and says this ‘awesome.’ And for anyone who knows me well or for even just a moment knows my facial expressions are ridiculous, I am the worst at being able to mask how I feel. So you know what I did? I ran away. Murmured something about ‘okay, see ya!’ did an about-face and hoofed it away, arms pumping, heart beating.
We broke up the next day.
17-years later I’m STILL running away. Ugh Fryer when you gonna learn!!?!?
But as I lay in class this morning, and good old valentines day looming in the distance of tomorrow, I couldn’t help but to smile thinking about this first kiss. I have great news…my makeout sessions have become much better over the years. Much.
I was thinking about some of my favorite first kisses this morning…that electric moment when you realize that the person across from you who has taken over your imagination and logic, that you are about to kiss…I love that moment.
I remember drinking dark beers and playing scrabble with this guy I was seeing a few years back, it was a snowy out, and we built a fire in the fire-place. We had just started dating, but I couldn’t get enough of his adorable smile and gigantic laugh, he was so smart, and so kind, and I was smitten. We sat on the ground around the coffee table. I was celebrating a big word I had just played (because I’m obnoxious like that when it comes to board games slash life) and the next thing I knew scrabble letters were skating across the floor and his lips were on mine. And it was AWESOME.
Last winter the guy I was dating this guy who was just so freaking HOT. But that was our problem, we were never really dating dating cause we never really ever left our houses : ) not complaining. And I remember the moment I saw him, I knew we would be making out soon. That night he walked me to my car and kissed my forehead, and like a school girl I drove home touching that spot on my forehead as I sang along to the radio.
What is it about a kiss?
A few winters ago, I remember walking home in a winter wonderland, one of those perfect snow globe kind of nights. It was a Tuesday and my neighbor asked me if I wanted to go walk to have a drink. We had a great time, conversation and big laughs came easy, one round turned into 3 rounds which made for a hilarious walk home. As we are walking home she turns to stop, and I’m likely dancing in place at this moment, or doing whatever it is I do when I’ve had 3 drinks, and she pulls me close, and kisses me. And I’m like ‘holy shit, this petite little blonde from Georgia with big blue eyes, soft lips, and tight jeans is totally making out with me outside on a snowy winter night’ again, not complaining. My heart is beating fast just thinking about it because I totally did not see that one coming. And for those that are curious about the end of this story, we did continue to see each other for a few weeks until it got a little weird. And then what did I do? You are correct! I ran. For the record though I think she was a little crazy…it just took me a little longer to figure out because of her southern accent.
Seriously though, what is it about a kiss. Magic I tell ya.
Well folks, it’s been quite a while since I’ve smooched anyone. Have the opportunities been there? Yeah, they’re always there, people are sluts : ) but what I know now is I just cant go making out with just anyone. I’m really ready to make out and fall in love, so if it feels like a fling, sorry Charlie, keep it moving.
Tomorrow I’ll kiss the same man that’s been in my life for the past 2 years, longer than any man I’ve ever known, his furry little face is one I just cant deny. My dog Moose, and I hope that someday soon enough there will be a second man in our lives who is less furry, though I do love a beard.
I’m working on this running thing. Trying to stay when I am uncomfortable, not running at the first sign of danger, trying harder at the things that matter.
I’m trying. And I’m hopeful that the electric feeling that is two people making out like bandits, in the courtship of becoming partners in crime for life….that it’s on it’s way.
I better dig out that cherry cola chapstick and get myself ready.
Oh Ps. Kevin Yahn if somehow this blog post makes it back to you, I assure it was me, not you, and you are probably awesome at making out and probably amazing in bed, and can kill a bear with your bare hands etc etc etc.