When you are invited onto a rocket ship.
should get on it.
Now is not the time to worry about whether or not you are wearing the right outfit, if you remembered to turn the lights off before you left, or if you have change for a 20.
Now is the time for action.
Way back when, my therapist Anne (and ooo, I loved me some Anne) said to me, ‘as women Lyndsey, we carry these beautiful flags over our heads, and we run as far as we can, when it is time to hand over the flag, we do. We hand the flag to the woman who is next, and we tell her to go, we let her know, it’s time for you to go now’ and in that moment, I saw so clearly, a green field, soft grass, and history.
That was in 2005, a time in which I was beginning to truly question who I was becoming. How angry I was, how sad, how fake.
I’ll never ever forget her saying that to me. That we go as far as we can.
I saw my Mom, who had gone as far as she could. And I saw that she had not given up on me, or on her own life, she had simply gone as far as she could.
I saw my sister, who would be newly married, to a sweet man, with kind eyes, and an easy laugh, and how her flag was so full, and so effortless.
I felt the crash, crash, crash, of us, of three woman, three flags, and in my lifetime, how it felt sometimes like we were running for our lives, together, running away from each other at other times, and how now, how I was just tired of running, and was searching for us to come together, and lay our flags down, and sit in the sun.
I have carried so many flags since then. I have been given so many flags since then. I have won. I have lost. I have given up. I have blessed. I have cursed. I have loved. I have cherished. I have forgiven. And oh my, I have been forgiven in so many ways.
Lately, and for some time now, the flag I am carrying, is one of total joy.
What a difference joy makes.
And it’s not like I went to the store, and I said to the person ‘you know, this anger flag just isn’t working for me, it’s really fucking heavy I’d like to swap out for that one with (points) glitter (squints, tries to make out the label) ah yes, the joy one, give me one of those’
Cause we all know that’s not how this works.
You gotta do the work ya’ll. You gotta decide what’s worth carrying. You gotta find other women, other communities, that see you. You gotta find the people that love like you do. Find the warriors. Find your tribe. Find the fearless and bold.
Find the joy.
When you find the joy. You could run forever.
You ever see a kid run? I rest my case.
When you find the joy. You also know, what it means to empower. To hand over your flag, and look someone in the eye. And say, ‘now you go’ because in my eyes, there may be nothing as beautiful as one human being saying to another.
Now you go. I believe in you. I’ll be here for you if you fall.
And so. This past week, I made a beautiful choice to go. I’m finishing out my final month at lululemon. The company that I know with my whole heart, was the catalyst for me to see, the flags I was carrying, were heavy. The place in which I have had my leadership challenged again and again, confronting the discrepancies between who I said I was, and who I was actually showing up to be. The place that handed me over, the most beautiful tools, that supported me, as I began to shift into the joy. The place where I cried, and screamed, and cursed, and tried to leave, multiple times, but always for the wrong reasons, only to be called out ‘you got work to do, girl.’ This job, that was so much less of a job, as it was the most beautiful lessons I could have ever learned, about what it means to lead, to ask for help, to blaze a trail, to create to connect. To love. More than I’d ever loved before.
It all started 3 plus years ago…and this past year in particular, here in California. I was given so many chances, takes 2’s, 3’s, and 7’s….to be better. I don’t know how else to say that. I am surrounded by peers that simply would not accept a mediocre version of me. Being here has asked me to be all-in, and now I know the difference.
And it’s not to say at all, that I did not whole-heartedly believe there was a place for me here. I do. But I also see it my own personal legacy to not wait or wonder. What could have been. My life has been a series of miracles and missteps of taking very little time to wonder, my life has become about action.
Through my time at lululemon, I have found best friends. Women who I will know far after I hand over my keys. Women who inpspired me to be a better leader. Women who will dance with me at my wedding, who will cry with me over a glass of wine, who will share with me what the hell to do when my boobs get gigantic when I’m pregnant one day (I am slightly terrified of large boobs), women who have my back forever, and you better believe, I have theirs.
Em and Jill. You two. Oh man, thank you . thank you. thank you.
In so many ways I think I came to lululemon to round out my 20’s and come breaking through into my 30’s to know joy, tribe, and forgiveness. I found all 3.
I cant even freaking believe that the flag I get to pick up and run with now. Like holy shit, and I mean HOLY SHIT IS THIS REAL LIFE, get to run with.
I’m joining Danielle LaPortes team. She is. Well…here, check her out. She is, in one word: magnificent. She is in three words, magnificent, bold, passionate.
She is a leader. A writer. A speaker. A creator. She MOVES people.
It’s been less than a week of this official news. And every time I say it, I feel like I am right about at the top of a roller coaster, with all my best friends, looking down, knowing it’s going to be crazy, and wild, and so so worth it, with my arms up in the air, SCREAMING, and we haven’t even gone anywhere yet.
I mean, I don’t even know what to call this flag. (the nothing will ever be the same, flag?) that sounds about right.
Here’s the thing about joy. When you truly, and I mean TRULY start living your life with it, you form a really awesome band with people around you, who are up to the same thing. So here’s how this 7-degrees of Kevin Bacon goes.
My girl Jacki Carr, who I’ve said is like my legitimate common denominator to so much good in my life. She starts this little ol’ business called Rock Your Bliss with Mary Beth Larue. When Mary Beth Larue is embarking on her life coaching certification, and needs 3-people to ‘practice’ on, I see the FB post, and throw my hat in the ring. Along with like 300 other people. Cause MB is a magnet like that. Unbeknownst to me, MB and Jacki are talking one day, and MB is all ‘how do I figure out who to choose?’ and Jacki’s all ‘Oh, you HAVE TO CHOOSE FRYER, she will give you a run for your money’
And so that was that.
And it’s true. I will give most people a run for their money. I am not always the ‘easiest’ to take on. But I am totally worth it. (you are welcome to read into that, however you’d like)
I take my first call with Mary Beth, on a break from work. I’m sitting outside in one of those weird mall chairs, staring out into a Tommy Bahamas, and a Clarks store (sensible shoe wear for men and women). I want to die a little bit. I was always just fine when I was in the store, but the mall, itself, brings on feelings of death to me.
At any rate, within 5-minutes of talking to Mary Beth, I am 100% certain that one day, we will just be best friends. (and I was totally right) but for those first 3-months she life-coached the heck out of me. So. Many. Breakthroughs.
And. So she says to me, on our first call, ‘have you ever read the book ‘fire starter sessions, by Danielle LaPorte?’ I had not.
She said. ‘okay, you need to read that before we talk next week, I think you’ll love it’ she went on to tell me how amazing the book had been on her own breakthrough’s in leading a life based on how she wanted to feel vs what she wanted to accomplish.
Done and Done. I poured a glass of wine that night, and dove in. I finished it in one night. I didn’t sleep much that night. But could have cared less.
My sessions with Mary Beth continued. And I wrote a blog, inspired by all this work I was doing, and a crucial chapter I remember reading. Your hunger will lead you home.
What’s crazy is, that was, 363 days ago….
And now. I have joined the team as the community manager. I’ll be focusing my first few months on the desire map. Some really amazing things cooking there. And then? WHO KNOWS!!! She doesn’t know. I sure don’t know. And I am SO COOL with that.I thrive in grey areas. I die a slow death in black and white. Here’s what I do know, it will literally be my JOB to support people in this beautiful mission of uncovering how they want to feel in this lifetime, and building a life around that. My job. And I have full trust when she says, ‘get on over here, you will be taken care of, you will create, the opportunities are endless’ that she’s not fucking around.
And so. To wrap on this beautiful story of alignment, and roller coasters. Jacki Carr (there she GOES again) used to work for no other than Steph Corker. Steph Corker is the kinda person that makes you want to just get up and high five. To make shit happen. To both dream and do. Well Jacki connected us, we ran with it, and then we both found ourselves carrying one amazing flag together at lululemon, when bringing together this amazing event called Beyond Luon (think TED talk, meets lululemon) ( I linked up the chicago one, SF isnt on-line yet) Beyond Luon is something Steph had dreamed up and brought to life a few years back. An absolutely beautiful evening where 8 amazing human beings who work for lululemon, stand up and share a story about their lives (each night has a theme). And so, my epic boss Jill, calls me up, and says ‘fryer, I cant imagine anyone else hosting this, would you?’ and I say HOLY SHIT YES I WILL!
And so a few months back in San Francisco someone hands me the microphone and it’s my job to introduce and welcome eight inspiring speakers onto the stage. And do my only task, which Jill said ‘Fryer, introduce these people, celebrate them, welcome them, do it in a way where they feel seen and heard’ and I’m all I GOT THIS. And so. That’s what I did. And hands down, one of the best nights of my life. Man do I love to see people shine. I FREAKING LOVE IT. Also, I had no idea, but turns out, I really like being on stage with a microphone! It was a ton of fun!
Anyway, after that Steph and I became just straight-up homies. I cant get enough of her. And I had this completely clear sense that one day, we would work together. Like I just knew it. Steph started consulting with Danielle a few months back, they go way way back, when Danielle famously told Steph that her business idea was ‘total crap’ they laughed, she cried, they both grew. And would continue to grow.
After a few skype calls. A few tears. A few breakthroughs. A bunch of emails. A long call with D on a Wednesday night. Some more emails. Some emojis. An invitation for a one-way ticket to a rocket ship.
It happened. And I said, hell yes.
What a bitter sweet moment it is, to hand over my flag, to the beautiful team I have spent the past year growing with.
What a thrilling moment it is to pick up a new flag of totally unchartered territory, of which I have joy, fear (the good kind), and so much passion.
What a time to pause, to sit in the sun, and to truly celebrate, a life that is created when joy is your flag.
When love is what matters.
When people stand for each other.
When you do not let comfort rule your choice.
When you know when it’s time, to hand your flag to women you are deeply inspired by.
When you are awakened to know, that in this lifetime you can absolutely lead it, based on what you declare.
My core desired feelings are:
Joy || connection || adventure || passion || expansion || freedom.
And I cannot wait to support you in finding yours.
I am so very grateful.
I am so very free.