About this time last year I celebrated a trip around the sun, around a dinner table, among the people that love me most here, and see me, as me.
Homemade everything, a chocolate cake with lots of sprinkles, a monogrammed Moscow mule mug, and the truth: hey Lyndsey Fryer, we love you.
We started the tradition that night of sharing a favorite moment from the past year with the person who’s birthday it is. That night, with the lights down low, all the windows open, and music playing in the back. I laughed and cried, we all did. Some favorite moments of rescuing friends going through breakups with emergency tacos, to Wednesday nights in the kitchen, ending with contraband coconuts…long walks home, and the slow and steady comfort of two girlfriends walking shoulder to shoulder, bare shoulders and summertime.
What I loved about this night, was how simple the truth was and is.
Favorite moments happen in the most ordinary times.
And. Tacos help breakups.
I’m 33-now, in a week, I’ll be 34.
There’s something about a birthday, a year rolling into the next…that has you consider. A year. Where you were each year.
I’ve spent a large amount of birthdays alone.
Same with holidays.
Anyone who grew up in somewhat of a chaotic home would probably understand that. Milestones are not often met in homes like these with celebration and care. There’s a charge around these days, an added expectation to pretend beyond how everyone’s pretending already. Its too much. I remember on these days, the equivalent of holding my breath, and wanting them to be over, sooner.
I’ve built a life where I don’t hold my breath…not as much anyway.
The same circle of friends who surrounded me last year, they’ve invited themselves over this year. They’ll have none of my ‘go it alone’ ridiculousness. They’ll sing, loud and off key. They’ll love me, as-is.
I cannot tell you what this has done to my heart.
In so many ways, moving to California has healed me.
It’s my relationships.
It’s the ocean.
It’s all this love, and it has made all the difference.
And so when, I do slip into sadness, as I have the tendency towards. I get a phone call. Or someone just shows up. Or I go to yoga.
Drawing my attention to abudnace and plenty I’m setting out on a More list for 34.
I thought about a more/less list. But I’m gonna bring all the attention to more. To the energy of yes. And, come on over. And, bring it on. And, seconds please. And, full plates. And, cups that runneth over with champagne. And here, take this, I have so much to give.
More: Saying Yes.
This was a turning point for me in Kenya. At about the 2-month mark when I started shutting down and literally coming home, shutting my door and going to bed at 7pm. I received some cold, hard, coaching. Either get on board, or get off, you living in the middle has consequences for everyone. I got on board, I said yes, I went everywhere, with everyone. When I say yes in life. Things flow.
Views that make me say oh my god, crashing on couches and guest rooms of best friends that live all around, splurges on trips to the ocean, having my front door be a nylon door that zips, passport stamps and miles.
More: Laugh lines.
I’m a notorious trouble-maker in the best way possible, things have felt a bit serious for a while. More pranks, practical jokes, and hilarious moments.
I’m in a new job that I’m loving, working for an amazing boss. I must stop waiting for the other shoe to drop, here, and in general. With this comes accepting and receiving.
More: Conversations with Mom and Dad.
I know I wont get to have these forever.
More: teaching and leading.
I’ve been teaching yoga now for 7-years, this year I started leading larger workshops with content I care deeply about. More of this. I love facilitating, I love this work. I have something to offer here.
I have had a project in mind | heart & honor | that I’ve done nothing to execute other than talk about it. This is the year.
I mean. Yeah. I’ll put it to you in a math problem…..if a train leaves the station traveling to Chicago at 110 miles per hours and arrives to the Pacific Coast at 8pm, and there are 5 apples, but a groundhog ate 3 of them….what time is it?
I haven’t a clue.
But lets just say if I were to roll in the hay just once this next year. ONCE. Well then I would have increased my hay rolling by 100%.
I thought about just ending the list with service…you know, just drop it all Mother Theresa like. But I’d be lying then. Which brings me to my last, more.
I’m starting to get there. This will be the year of truth. I’ll fall in love this year, I can feel that too.
It’s all happening.
I’m grateful you’re taking this ride with me.
34, lets do this.